Ration Point Humor
Here it is:
Prediction On Rationing of Food - Love, Romance, Music, And Friendship Will Be Affected by Point System
"It will influence love and romance. It will influence music. It will influence people and lose them friends.
"The effect of the ration plan on love and romance is as obvious as Venus deMilo has never won the national bowling championship. Do you think for a minute that in the future a man with a great big appetite would even consider courting a girl with a great big appetite? No indeed, when there are sparrow-like eaters running alone loose with just as many 'points' in their ration book as the hefty eaters.
Consider Her Appetite
"From now on the real charm of a maid for a man will not lie in blue eyes, or dimples, or skill in needlepoint, bur rather how she tucks away that food when it is placed in front of her.
"Just as heiresses have been warned to guard against someone marrying them for their money, light eating girls will be cautioned: 'Are you sure that its you he loves, my dear, and not all those ration points you have left over each month?'
"Men, of course, face the same danger. The most eligible man in town may be the fellow with stomach ulcers. Girls who like their food are going to think twice before plighting their troth to a man who needs 700 or 800 points a day to keep his 6 feet, 200-pound frame, moving around. When in inquiring into a suitor's background parents will care more about the oats he has eaten than the ones he has sown.
"The ration plan will result in a thousand new songs. Already the 'slap-happy Wagners' of Tin Pan alley are hard at work composing immortal songs to the food shortage.
Some Song Titles
"'I Met a 700-Point Baby in an A. & P-ee Store'
'My Heart Went on a Riot When I Met a Girl on a Diet'
'My Heart is All A-Flutter Over a Gal who Doesn't Like Butter'
'I Can't Ration My Passion for You'.
"Just wait and see, there'll be some even worse than these.
"As for friendship, the food you serve a guest in your home is going to show plainer than any of your other actions how much you think of him. Give him a dinner that cost you more points than Notre Dame gets in a season and he will think of you as a true friend. On the other hand, give him a dinner which his knowing eye will quickly see hasn't cost you more than a few measly points from your ration book and he will never again shake your hand with the same fervor.
"For the first time since the founding of this country friendships are going to be made and lost over such items as canned sifted peas, dried apricots, catsup and noodle soup.
"In the future, ration points will determine the great hosts and hostesses of the country. Those who are willing to sacrifice all week to really give a bang-up dinner on Saturday night and not necessarily the wealthy, will be the famed entertainers.
Those Big Dinners
"Already old Nostradamus McLemore can see the society columns. A big dinner will be written up like this:
'The highest point dinner of the season was given last evening by Mr. and Mrs. Gus Riboflavin. Mr. and Mrs. Riboflavin, who has existed on plentiful cereals for a fortnight in order to give the 2,700-point dinner, were so weak that they had to be helped from the table at an early hour. The dinner started with a 60-point appetizer, was followed by a 200-point clear soup, a 500-point entree and they shot the rest of the points on the salad and dessert.'
"Maybe this all sounds far-fetched, but wait and see. Nostradamus McLemore has never made a wrong prediction on general food rationing in the United States."
Hahahahahahaha!!!!! This is the most hilarious thing I have read in a long time! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Clearly, this man is a bit miffed with the whole idea of ration points, but as he couldn't do anything about it, he chose to poke fun at it. What a wonderful gem from history! I'm so glad I dug it up! :-D